Well I just got done packing for my trip
Gotta get to the airport lickety split
Gotta get on a plane and travel real far away
Park my car, get my ticket
Check my bag and hope they don't lose it
Take a deep breath and then approach the gate

Well I stand in the line for an hour or 3
Get to the counter and show my ID
Walk on up, take off my belt and shoes
Sir you'll have to check that racquet
Sir you gotta take off that jacket
Wearing too much is how the terrorists get through


We're gonna keep you safe and sound
While you fly the friendly skies
Gonna keep you all confused
With the volume of our lies
We're gonna confiscate your coffee
And your water we will take
We're gonna look at what we want to
We're the TSA

Well I'm a law abiding dude
But I don't want you to see me nude
All in the name of security
I don't want you to touch my junk
Even if you're kinda hunky
And I don't want to walk through that machine

Little old lady in a wheel chair
I can't believe you just touched her there
Do you really think that she's a threat
You're just playing on our fright
But we still have some basic rights
And the constitution, it ain't been torn up yet.